Vriksha nursery

Vriksha nursery is a second generation nursery based in Mumbai where we strive to change the face of urban gardening in India with over 25,000 gardens executed in Maharashtra/Goa/Gujarat. We have a team of dedicated professionals who will leave no stone unturned to give you gardens of the utmost quality. Vriksha nursery has been synonymous with innovation in our field be it set landscaping(over 15000 teleserials/movies/adfilms), temporary landscapes (over 2500 exhibitions and weddings),ikebana flower arrangements, urban farming, rooftop gardens,living walls etc.
contact us :9820704069 Email: shaan_lalwani@hotmail.com
or better still
Drop by at: 1 ganga apts ,
irla railway soc(2nd last bungalow lane opp papilon hotel )
mumbai 400056.
WHY GO GREEN...WHEN NATURE HAS SO MANY COLOURS TO OFFER!

Thursday, August 21, 2014

20 Funniest conversations at vriksha!!!


    Over the years the nursery has had all kinds of people walk in...we love absolutely all of them but some of the conversations we had makes us crackup to even to this day...




20) Customer:-  how many flowers will this plant get in a year.......
     ME :- mam its a perennial flowering plant blooms all year round...
Customer:- dont give me vague answers i need numbers !!!!

 *facepalm*

19)client:-i love nature...i love greenery i love to be one with nature...


AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRHH......(runns for the gate) butterfly i hate butterfly !!!!

18) client :- i want to make a lawn....i want to make a herbal garden with fruits and trees and vegetables

   me:-where would you want this done mam.

client :- on my window sill and in my kitchen grill box....i dont want plants in my bedroom window cause  the green won't match my bedsheet and curtains !!      :-/

17) client :- hey my tulsi i got from a local cyclewala is dead can u tell me what i can do to bring it back to life....(shows me a plant dry as dust)

me :- mam its dead there is nothing i can do...

client :- cant u do some plant cpr or something....you went to uk to study na!!!

16) client :- i want a a tomato plant...

   me :- giving him the plant ...

client :- green tomatoes !!! wow iv never seen such a rare variety of tomatoes ever :-?

15) client :- hi do you have vishnubingraja...

 me :- mam can u pls tell me the botinical name or a local name

client :- a very big baba has told me if i keep this plant on the south east window of my house ill get a son..... wtf ?!!!

14) customer :- hi do you have money plant

me :- yes

customer :- do you get money if u have the plant

me :- i dont know abt you but ill get some if you buy them form me.

13) customer :- hi is this a plant nursery

   me :- yes

customer :- do you have an apple plant....i love apple.

 me :- mam apple needs a cold climate to grow wont grow here in mumbai...

customer :- can i grow that in ac room or near my fridge door.....

wtf!!!


12)customer :- hi do you have onion plant...

me :- no

customer :- do you have potato plant....

me :- no

customer :- do you have rice plant...

me :- any particular reason you want these farm crops in mumbai?

customer :- iv got a concept....grow your own biryani ...i think loads of people will buy for eidd

11)customer :- sir im calling from kerela

me :- yes tell me...

customer :- sir i want to have plants that eat elephant......

me :- what ??!!??!? there is no such plant...

customer :- pls make i buy 2...


10) customer :- hey iv got plants i want to sell...

me  :- yes we do buy plants ....tell me...

customer :- how much will u pay...

me:- sir i need to see the plants before i can give u a quote.

customer:- no give aprox how much will you pay for very green plant....

me:- sir i wi need to see the plant before i can say anything....

customer:- whats there to see in a plant...there are leaves stem root and sometimes small flower .

9) customer :- (very agitated) i got a plant form you and its dieing !!!

me:- oh im so sorry mam could you get it to us...

customer ;- no cause i just came back from the uk im jet lagged.

me :- so why dont you send us a pic and let me see whats up.

*sends me a pic of a plant dry as dust*

me:- when did you water this last...

customer:- 3 months ago....before i left

8)"filmi customer* :- hey have you seen the movie silsila...

me:- not not really but tell me...

*filmi customer *:- i want like that flower field to be created in my society garden...

me:- sir i vaguely remember wasn't that amitabh and rekha shooting in a tulip field in amsterdam...is that what ur talking about...

*filmi customer* :- yes yes same to same ..iv got got budget of 10,000.... tell me when will u start.

7) customer :- what is your educational qualification....

me:- iv done a msc in horticulture from the Bskkv and a ma in landscape managment from the uni of sheffield.

customer:- horti kia kia ...horti culture aisa bhi kuch hota hai...dont lie and make up be honest.

6) customer :- hi is this nursery....

me:- yes

customer :- can i have admission for my son

me:- sir this i a plant nursery...

customer :- good name...can i get addmition?

5) customer:- sir do you have hibiscus plant...

me :- yes...show him the plant....

customer :- no i want pink hibiscus...

me:-sir this is a red hibiscus see the flower...

customer :-not this pink....i want pink like...u know pink...

me:- sir i know pink and this flower is pink (highly confused)

He leaves without buying anything and returns the next day....whips out an asian paints shade card n goes ...this ..i select this pink!!!!!!

4) customer :- hey do you have pott

me:- yes sir we have loads of pots in diffrent sizes...

customer:- manali or kashmiri????

3) customer :- hi i want to do a big save the planet tree plantation drive.

me:- thats very good sir what do you have in mind....

customer:- i think tulsi is king of plants i want to give away 1000 tulsi trees big tulsi trees like ...big shadey tulsi tree

me:- sir tulsi is a small shrub...wont grow into a tree...

customer:- why dont you do genetic engeniring of tulsi plant to make it into big tree!!!

me:- sir thats not possible...

customer:-even impossible says i am possible....

2) Customer:- do you have good smelling plants

me:- yes sir, we do have many aromatic plants...

customer:- my husband is very bad smelling...can i use it on him...

me:- what??!!??

customer:- if he rubbs the plant will he smell good...

me:-mam he needs deodorant not a poor little plant!!!

1)customer:-hey do you have any ..

me:-any what...

customer:-especial plant..

me:-man all our plants are special what u looking for....

customer:-mari-ju-ana

me:-im a plant nursery not a drug dealer!!!!

customer:-grow na for me i will give u loads of orders....

me:-call my friend he will help you out...(gave de fucker the land line number of juhu police station)

10 comments:

  1. Enjoyed. Loved the 17th one. Typically indian foreign gaya tha na padhne..

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  2. This just made my Friday.. I was looking for tips to see how to get my bougainvillea to flower and stumbled on this blog post.. Abs-frikking-hilarious.

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  3. lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....

    great job man.... would love to visit your nursery....

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  4. Haha what fun.. Would love to visit your nursery - Plant. (Nice name! Lol)

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  5. Haha what fun.. Would love to visit your nursery - Plant. (Nice name! Lol)

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  6. thanks for sharing your funny hair pulling experiences. Sometimes people think they know all, and dont even know what they are talking about

    Bedroom matching with vegetable lawn was too much .... :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. So funny..Ha ha ha.

    ReplyDelete